Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
