dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
