I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
