handjob tips. give me some.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
