I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
