Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They took my balls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize