Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I CAN MOONWALK!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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