think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
