Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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