There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
