the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
be right there i have to get my cape
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
