Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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