I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
