I'm so fucking centered right now
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
