dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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