they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
