stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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