and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
