That's intense
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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