we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize