you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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