I'm sorry my penis didn't work
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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