I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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