Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
