you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
