Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
