i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
