You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
