So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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