I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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