dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize