It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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