I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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