you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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