i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
