Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
