i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize