I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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