I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
