Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
