His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
