I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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