Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
