It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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