Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
