Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
