She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
COCAINE IS GR8
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