I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
