are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
