Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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