this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
