CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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