Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize