broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
