There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
