Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
