Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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