I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
