You really coming over, don't trick.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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