So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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