..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
