woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am one with the molecules
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
