I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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