what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
