STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
