do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize