took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize