Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
